The Illusion of Certainty

Steven Stosny, Ph.D. wrote an article titled “Love, Marriage, and the Illusion of Certainty https://bit.ly/2wxgid9. “Strong feelings and sensations of any kind carry an illusion of certainty.” When love becomes marriage a certain comfort and belief are held by the couple that they will be together through all of life’s struggles, both good and bad. Even though we all know going into marriage what the divorce rate is.

In the throes of romantic love, we look at our significant other through rose colored glasses. That illusion starts to fade when we start arguing about who is going to clean the toilets and the million other tasks that couples do every day. Some marriage thrive others fall apart.

In Tayari Jones’s novel, “An American Marriage,” she takes on this illusion of certainty with an African American couple. After only 18 months of marriage, Roy is charged, tried and convicted of raping a woman and sentenced to 12 years in prison. His wife, Celestial, knows that he didn’t commit the crime because she was with him that night, but how does any marriage survive a separation that long. Hollywood actors and actresses are always divorcing, and the common cause is separation. However, they’re only separated for a few months at a time, but twelve years?

The author gives us a clear understanding of the two protagonists, Roy and Celestial by their interactions between themselves and with both families. A great deal of that insight comes from letters that Roy and Celestial write to each other during Roy’s term in prison.

Roy, as a middle-class, college-educated African American is not immune to the racism his poorer brethren encounter. The author skillfully weaved discrimination into the into the story and it was quite powerful in its subtly.

Our book club loved this book. We talked about marriage and the way Roy fell totally apart at the end. We talked about the couple and what they should and shouldn’t have done. We talked a little about racism both overt and covert. We talked about parenting and the protagonists’ parents. We talked about love and the illusion of certainty that marriage holds for us.

This is a good book for book clubs.

Rating: 8.0